M F ALFREY

It’s not totally clear who these guys are. Rumours say they’re a band of marauding monsters. Some say they’re bandits terrorising the highways. But gossip in the wards and their taverns says they’re just a band of bards that can’t play a note between them and have the musical aptitude of a mollusc. From the word on the street and rumours from the Scorches, this band of musically-challenged bards go by many names: The Hooded Bards, The Monsters, and recently, if the scrawling on numerous gig posters is anything to go by (presumably scrawled by the bards themselves), then their chosen name is: The Cavern Punks.

Fine, but what does that even mean? What in the Ten Hells is punk when it’s a home? Here at FRENEME Magazine, we’re truly stumped. By all accounts, this group of bards is generally paid to stop playing. Reports have them being kicked out of taverns for “antics” or just simply playing nothing but noise. Are these guys an afront to the music scene or someone to watch? And who are they exactly? We did a little digging and all we could find were a bunch of wanted posters. What has the music world come to? Have you heard of these bards? Perhaps you’ve seen them perform. If so, send a message by orbinall to FRENEME Magazine, Setnar City on the Sea of Suileen, Salosnaref.